After_Still (anti_social) wrote in raisingirls,
After_Still
anti_social
raisingirls

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take to the sky . . .

I just thought that i would update my journal and see what everyone else was doing.I am now working really hard on my music and thinking about my life and what i plan to do with it.I think that my best bet is to start writing and performing my music here locally and then work my way up to some small recording label.I think that is the best thing for me to do.I know that i can do this and i will not be stopped in this because i will do what is right and this seems like the right thing to do.I have also been thinkning that i will take a six month vacation to perth and record my album there.I will stay with ben and see how everything goes there.I think everything will work out in the long run.I also think that letting kieron know that i plan on recording my album in perth will make him happy and we will get to hang out a lot more while i am recording my album there.

I just have to remember that i don't need a space ship and they don't know you've already lived on the other side of the galaxy.I know i have to do these things and i have to get to perth i said i have to get to perth.I know i am really werid but i need to do these things and i know i will have even more happiness than i have ever had.I know that i am making some really good choices now and i just have to be strong and i will survive.i had a January world i never let on how insane it was in that tiny kinda scary house by the woods,by the woods,by the woods.Now that i have a plan , i have to make it go in motion and now more than ever i have to stay on this track.I just took a online test that told me if i was a tori amos song i would be past the mission and i really like that cause that is one of my favorite tori amos songs and i can really relate to that one cause i feel like i am trying to pass the mission.I also took a test that told me if i was a tori amos album i would be boys for pele , which i can really relate to because she talks about loss and what have you at the end of the album and i have alot of losses and i am going to talk about them on my album , which is going to be called boys in the trees.

I really wish i was in perth now cause i have alot of friends there and i feel like i am wasting time here with friends who really dont give a shit about me but thats okay because in time i will be in perth with my friends there and thats all that matter , right ? i know it does and now i am listening to purple people , which is a tori amos song i love very much and in a interview on kfog she told everyone what the song was about and this is what she had to say about the song."So I was uh, we were in Cornwall and we were hangin out, a bunch of us. And um, the great thing is that we always had a saying 'it's 6 o'clock in the world somewhere and that means you can have a drink. You know, when you think its too early to drink, we don't drink that much. That depends on who we are comparing ourselves to. But we have a European way we look at thinks, its not like we never kind of go to work...i can't play the piano if i'm doing anything cause i can't find it for one thing...and then once i'm sitting on the stool i still can't find it..so um. There was a time when we would decide it was 6 o'clock and it was like 9:30 in the morning. And um, one time we were having this moment and my friend Tam was telling me a story about a girl named Besty Brown who used to torture her and come up to her.that's the thing she used to come up to me and go 'Hi I'm Betsy Brown, do you do judo? i do judo!'. And I went into the studio and things kinda happened."

Now i am just sitting here in front of my computer thinking of songs i could cover. I want simple songs like tori amos song like graveyard and the pool. Songs that have had a song impact on my life but are easy to perform and very emotional.I also think i will perform songs like me and a gun and maybe butterfly.I am also looking at old poems and deconstructing them into more clear and constructive songs that can be understood more easily.I know i may be over thinking this but music is my life and i need to do this without anything lacking , wither it be emotion or inhabitions.I just need to do my thing and do it will class but not be a prude about it.I just have to put myself out there with nothing to protect me but the a post it saying this is me and if you do not like me then fuck off.I know that sounds bitchy but thats how it has to be.I will not compromise and i will not sell out to some corprate scum bag fagget.I am who i am and i will not change myself for anyone.

I now am sitting here in my my nice pants and a t-shirt that says daddy's junkie powder working on my songs and i just recorded a demo of tori amo's song spark.I just thought that i would include the lyrics for those who do not know the lyrics.she's addicted to nicotine patches she's addicted to nicotine patches she's afraid of the light in the dark 6:58 are you sure where my spark is here here here.she's convinced she could hold back a glacier but she couldn't keep Baby alive doubting if there's a woman in there somewhere here here here.you say you don't want it again and again but you don't really mean it you say you don't want it this circus we're in but you don't you don't really mean it you don't really mean it if the Divine master plan is perfection maybe next i'll give Judas a try trusting my soul to the ice cream assassin here here here. you say you don't want it again and again but you don't really mean it you say you don't want it this circus we're in but you don't you don't really mean it you don't really mean it how many fates turn around in the overtime ballerinas that have fins that you'll never find you thought that you were the bomb yeah well so did i say you don't want it say you don't want it how many fates turn around in the overtime ballerinas that have fins that you'll never find .here here here.

well i guess i better update my other journals and talk to my luci while i have the chance.oh yeah i love you guys in perth.i miss you kieron*cries* well i will see you kids later.

-northern ladd-
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